I made it through.
November 30th passed without fireworks, without a high five or an atta-girl, without fanfare, without a drum roll, without much more than a sigh.
But I'm proud! I faced a mountain and I climbed it and some days felt like I didn't have a harness but I pushed and I pushed and I breeched that crest and now I'd like to sleep for just a little while.
But as I've watched the December 1st clock slowly tick towards the 2nd I feel weirdly incomplete without taking a moment to make a mark here.
I've heard that it takes 30 days to adopt a new habit.
So watch out! Momma's got a brand new bag!
I'm not saying I'm going to carry on with posting every single day but I've been pleasantly surprised with how much I actually have to say - not that all or any of it is particularly profound - but leaving a mark means something even if that mark is just a smear.
It feels good to be out from under that oppressive pressure of 'holy-canoli-I-signed-up-for-something-and-I'll-look-like-a-loser-if-I-don't-carry-it-through!' I'll trade that, instead, for a more casual 'the heart writes what the heart writes when the heart feels so inclined.'
Ah. Freedom. I embrace you wholly.
Glad you made it through. Seemed to go fast (as a reader, at least). Glad you pushed when it was tough, too :) Ed Sheeran (sorry it's not a more profound creative) said once, "Making music [humor me and substitute it for 'art'] is like turning on the taps in an old house. You gotta let the rust come through first before the good stuff flows." It's not an exceptional quote but it taught me a lot about actually PRODUCING something before I have something to critique and build upon. Seemed fitting for your reflection of NaBloPoMo :)
ReplyDeleteVery fitting, Aidan - I like that!
DeleteWay to go! I'll pat you on the back and give you an atta girl! Posting everyday is hard. Posting something everyday that someone actually wants to read....very impressive.
ReplyDeleteThanks! There were definitely a few 'fillers' in there but overall I feel good about accepting your atta girl :)
DeleteWay to go! I'll pat you on the back and give you an atta girl! Posting everyday is hard. Posting something everyday that someone actually wants to read....very impressive.
ReplyDeleteWhen I realized yesterday that you had completed your daily posts for NaBloPoMo I knew I would miss reading your thoughts each day. I am pleased that this new habit has been adopted and look forward to continue reading what you have to say. By the way - yay!! you did it!! I knew you could. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle - you've been a wonderful encouragement throughout this journey!
DeleteI, too, gained a new habit, Alanna. Your blog. It was like a daily warm fuzzy in the inbox of my email. A delectable chocolate. Waiting to be unwrapped, sniffed and, ultimately, enjoyed. Congratulations on making it through. Looking to hear more from you as you continue to grow as a writer.
ReplyDeleteLike chocolate? Aw, what a 'sweet' compliment! You've been nothing but encouraging and for that I thank you (with one hundred metaphorical chocolates!)
DeleteAnd you wrote some wonderful and moving posts.
ReplyDeleteI will miss the daily blogs, don't wonder to far
ReplyDeleteI will miss the daily posts.
ReplyDelete