Maple syrup is made by cooking the sap of a maple tree until it thickens.  {Speaking of which, look what was on my desk when I got to work today!}

Blood sausage is made by cooking blood until it thickens.

I'll wait a moment while you fight off your gag reflex...

The idea of it turns my stomach.  I know there is a thing about using every part of the animal and, in so doing, you honor it for it's sacrifice...and aren't we noble and kind little humans as we consume the blood of a lesser species!!??!! 

I am a vampire lover.  I'm planning an Anne Rice tour of New Orleans some time in the future.  I like my steak rare.  But don't ever take congealed blood and pour it into a skinny sleeve and serve it to me! Not ever! Not even with sauerkraut!

There are just some things that should never be put in your body.  And to you, my friends, heed this wise advice - never, ever, EVER stop for lunch at a gas station.

I planned our trip really well.  Except for a few of our on-the-road' meals.  We were lucky most of the time - finding easy and reasonable stops - but luck has a way of running out.  

And ours did.

It was a long stretch of highway taking us from Maryland to Pennsylvania on our second last day of travel.  The drive way pretty.  The kids were occupied.  Our snack plan supplies had been reduced to the lame remains of pretzels and stale popcorn. 

Two o'clock rolled around.  Everyone was hungry.

And we needed gas.

How convenient.

Perhaps warning signals should have sounded in our heads when we walked through the door of the gas station shop to find the 'cook' seated at one of two tables with some old men playing scratch tickets, or when we realized the 'computer lab' in the far corner was a weird online gambling booth, or when our shoes were sticking to the cracked and broken floor tiles... But when kids are hungry they only allot you so much grace and we knew ours was close to running out.  And we didn't know how far away the nearest town with familiar food was.  We ordered the hotdogs.

The menu board said 'Hotdogs'. The 'cook' called them 'Hotdogs'.  The kids were like, 'Yes! Hotdogs!'

We're not so fancy that we can't enjoy a hotdog but one look at them and I didn't know what they should have been called.

It was unfair, how they didn't have them showcased in a heated case with a rolling bottom, grease bubbling beneath the glowing lamp, making you think of New York.  It was unfair that we couldn't see the 'cook' coax them from their alien space pods wrappers to get a sense of what we were in for {and to assure us she hadn't slipped out back to saw the fat fingers off the escaped prisoners they kept locked up in the shed}.  It was unfair that we handed over that hard-earned expensive American money before getting a peek at the merchandise...

I peeled back the foil wrapper and steam billowed out along with the aggressive smell of strange spices, old oil and no name ketchup.  The bun was soft and fresh.  The meat was not. 

This hotdog was red.  RED.  Like primary finger-paint red.  Like those awful erasers they gave us in elementary school that left behind chunks of themselves on a spelling test like the flesh of a molting zombie.  Red.  Deep, dark, gruesome red.  

Like blood sausage.

"Tastes fine to me," Zander told us, eating his in three bites - true teenager fashion - and grinning with a spot of ketchup on his chin.

It did not taste fine.  It tasted weird.  It tasted like REDRUM in The Shining.  It tasted like something you'd find in a college dorm stuck to the inside of a lampshade, three days after the party that broke all the toilets...

It was not food.

It couldn't have been.

And though we survived without illness or tragedy or the tortured cries of finger-farm prisoners echoing through our nightmares, I'm quite convinced that - almost two weeks later - it is still alive, crawling around in my belly, waiting for Lankester Merrin to come and exorcise it to the dark abyss.

Again I say - and please heed my advice - never, ever, EVER, EVER stop for lunch at a gas station!

He's got coolness down to an art but, poor thing, sometimes even cool has to take a back seat to bodily functions...

When you look at a tourist map of The National Mall in Washington DC it doesn't seem terribly overwhelming; in fact, it tempts you to say 'of course we can walk that and see all the sites in one day.'  Reality is that it's terribly far - especially if you're sharing that walk with little legs - and it's rather lacking in facilities {if you know what I mean...}

Liam was having some...let's call them 'stomach issues'...as we traversed the vast scenes of DC.  Within the museums there was little problem because rest rooms were readily available.  Beyond those beautiful, decorative doors though - not so much.

After stopping for a snack at the base of the incredible Washington Monument, we began the long hike to see Abraham Lincoln.  And it's far.

But the day was beautiful.  The sun was shining between the trees, joggers passed us in T-shirts, squirrels were scurrying and birds were tweeting and there was not a hint of snow anywhere.

We were halfway there when Liam declared his need.

Of course, there was nothing around.

"Can you hold it?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.  "Maybe."

Of all the sites we saw in the city that day, Lincoln was the most impressive.  It's such an iconic, powerful place - and I'm Canadian - I can't even imagine what it's like to stand there as a proud American.

Approaching it was rather surreal.  It's massive and gorgeous and intricate and annoyingly populated with tourists but so incredible to stand in such a place.  We stopped before reaching the stairs to pose for a picture.

But poor Liam couldn't wait.  He threw down his water bottle and took off  - first in a purposeful march and then at a full out run.

 It took us a few moments to understand what was happening and then, because we're cruel, we couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Like a bee to a flower he instinctively raced to a dark door beneath the monument, somehow knowing he could find relief under Lincoln.

And relief he did find.  And just in time.  Thank goodness!

He reemerged, grinning sheepishly, pooped out from his frantic run {see what I did there?} and together we climbed the stone steps to meet the regal and impressive Mr. Lincoln.

Wash the inside of the windshield.  It's a road trip.  You're going to want pictures of the road.  And pictures of the road through a streaky, dirty window just aren't the kind of memory you'll want to hold on to.  I can remember, a few days before we left, saying to myself, 'I really need to make sure I wash that,' and then promptly forgetting about it until I took my first on-the-road shot and thought, 'well, shoot!'

Walmart is more expensive in the US.  Maybe this isn't a fair statement - I don't know about every American Walmart but the one in Bradford, Pennsylvania certainly is.  All I wanted was some fruit and veggies for our snack plan containers but I just couldn't stomach the prices compared to home.  Luckily our complimentary hotel breakfast came with a lot of fruit each day and we happily helped ourselves!

Constantly losing radio stations.  Yes, I know, I'm quite behind the times on this one.  Everybody who's anybody has all their favourite music downloaded to their phone and they make a great playlist and every one is happy.  I have exactly ZERO songs on my phone.  I just haven't got around it to.  Shame on me!  So we were faced with the endless search for a good radio station - only to lose it within the hour. No thank you!  Next time I'll be better prepared.

Don't eat at McDonald's.  Obvious, right?  But the kids think they love it and the dollar menu is actually a dollar menu {once you're out of Canada}.  I had a salad - because ew - but everyone else had a burger and apparently meat just isn't the same...if it's meat at all...?  It's certainly not Canadian beef anyway.

Believing you'll have gorgeous weather doesn't mean you actually will - pack for everything.  For some reason, I thought 'hey, we're going south, we don't need big warm coats and mittens and boots.'  I didn't consider that it would snow on our first night in Pennsylvania and that we'd be walking snowy paths at the Kinzua Bridge or how chilly it would be while we gazed at Niagara Falls on the way home.

Southern hospitality is a real thing.  Canadians have this reputation of being super polite.  I would argue that American's are just as polite...perhaps even more???  I had this crazy idea that we'd cross the border and be faced with a week void of a please or a thank you or a door held open for us.  It's all a lie, people!  We were overwhelmed by the kindness and hospitality we were met with along the way.  Of course, there were a few grumpy people scattered through but more than once we commented on how crazy nice everybody was!

Gas station food is not food.  I don't know what it is but it doesn't belong in your body.  THAT HOTDOG IS NOT A HOTDOG - DO NOT PUT IT ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR MOUTH!!!  Trust me.

Bring along containers for beach mementos.  We arrived at the ocean during low tide which meant there was really no end to the amount of sea shells we could collect.  Liam filled his pockets.  Noa filled her purse.  We dumped out a water bottle and filled it with sand so we could bring home our own little miniature beach.  Next time I'll take a bucket or a plastic tub or a jar - anything with a lid - anything that would mean clothes {and then suitcases} and purses don't get full of sand.

GPS is fallible.  Technology is beautiful.  GPS is brilliant.  Until you try to go home and it has you heading from Pennsylvania to Niagara Falls via Montreal.  Montreal!  If we'd trusted it, our second last day would have consisted of an eighteen hour drive instead of six.

Your daughter might look cute in that oversize truckers hat but her face will just be a shadow in every picture you take.  Back when we ran a recording studio, I had this 'I Heart Little Box Studio' hat made as a promotional product sample.  Somehow it came into the possession of my daughter and somehow it was her hat of choice when they were all told to bring one.  It's too big for her.  And she looks crazy adorable in it.  But seriously - every picture of her is cast with a dark shadow across her face!  

Have you learned anything from a trip you've taken?  Spread the wealth - share it in the comments below!

Linking up here

 1. Start a road trip adventure fund!


Even if you don't have any plans, set a jar somewhere to collect spare cash and then, when the opportunity presents itself, you'll have a little spending money ready to take on the road!

I've shared this before but I found this to be an incredible way to get children to invest in their daily chores and to make the teenager a little more excited about babysitting his siblings!

2. Make a Road Trip Binder!


Keep all your important papers, maps and itinerary in one neat and tidy place.  This helpful tool can be created using office supplies from your local dollar store.

Learn how I made mine here.

3. Save space with travel pillows!


Space is precious when it come to a road trip.  We are hoping our children will be able to grab a few winks during the extra long stretches on the road but didn't want to sacrifice the space their three pillows would steal from more vital necessities {like shoes!}.

Travel pillows can be purchased for a reasonable price and use much less real estate than a regular pillow.

4. Have a road trip drink plan!

By taking our own refillable containers we will save money by filling up with water whenever we stop for gas.  I will also take a few cartons of juice for refills every once in a while.  And, of course, I'll top mine up with hotel coffee before we head on our way each morning.

5. Make a road trip snack plan!

The worst thing for your budget would be having to stop at a drive-thru or convenience store every time you got a little hungry.  Come up with a snack system that works for your family.  See how I'm handling the snack situation on our trip here.


6. Pack a lot of road trip games & activities!

No one likes to hear, "I'm bored!" We will be taking books, paper, pencil crayons, little games, road trip bingo & license plate bingo {Google these to find lots of options}, gaming devices, iPad, computer...the list could go on and on.  We have also signed out a good number of audio books and I've downloaded some movies for the kids to watch.

7. Organize your stuff!


There are a lot of options for how to organize your backseat.  With all the activities we're bringing with us on the road it was important that I came up with a solution so that things didn't become spread all over.  I didn't want to spend the asking price for a good store-bought organizer so I came up with my own by using up some worn out jeans.  Learn how I made it here.

8. Pack a road trip first aid kit!

Because you never know what's going to happen... 
Ours is packed with:

• Toilet paper
• Baby wipes
• Sunscreen
• After-sun lotion
• Gauze
• Medical tape
• Tea Tree oil
• Hydrogen Peroxide
• Polysporin
• Thermometer
• Gravol
• Bandaids
• Advil
• Advil Junior
• Tums
• Hand sanitizer

9. Make a road trip garbage can out of a dollar store cereal box!

I'll be perfectly honest - we're not known for having the cleanest vehicle in the world.  I stumbled upon this brilliant idea floating around Pinterest one day and I had to adopt it.

A plastic cereal box makes a brilliant car garbage option!  I'll be keeping a roll of plastic bags in the bottom of it and we'll dump it every time we stop for gas.

No more candy wrappers or Kleenex on the floor!

10.  Don't forget the air freshener!


Have you ever spent hours cooped up in a car with a teenaged boy?  Yeah.  Don't forget the air freshener.  It might be the most important thing you take with you!

I've also heard the great idea of leaving an open box of dryer sheets in the car....

I'm sure there are hundreds of other road trip tips I could share {or wish were being shared with me before we leave}.  I'm feeling prepared.  All I have left to do is to finish the laundry, pack the suitcases and the cooler, fit everything in the car, ensure all human passengers are bathed, get a good night's sleep and then we HIT THE ROAD!  Perhaps I'll come home with a whole slew of new advice to pass on.  If nothing else, I'll come home with stories and I can't wait for those!

Happy trails, roadtrippers! 

So, by now we've established that I might overdo it a little bit when it comes to planning.  

Today, while discussing the upcoming trip with a friend, we were interrupted by an older couple who are of the 'fly by the seat of their pants' persuasion.  They road trip regularly.  And they do it without a plan.  

"Oh, you can always find a place to stay or get gas along the interstate," she told us.  She doesn't see the point in planning or booking ahead.

To that I say: AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.  

Nope.  Can't do it.  Not when I have three children to worry about.

Planning is my key to serenity.

There has always been an open invitation to visit my husbands Aunt and Uncle in South Carolina and so our entire trip was built around spending some time with them.

Budget for gas, food, shopping {Charleston City Market anyone?!}, coffee stops, etc.  And get the kids to save so they can have some spending money of their own.  I outfitted each child with a jar and they eagerly did extra chores for cash in hopes of having the most when we leave.  It's amazing how much wood a boy can pile when he realizes it will help him buy himself cotton candy at Folly Beach.

I discovered roadtrippers.com and it was a huge tool in choosing which way to go and where to stop along the way.  It will show you points of interest, places to stop for great pictures, restaurants, hotels - basically anything you want to look for along the way.

I did this with my Road Trip Binder.  It keeps everything neat and tidy and ready for easy access at any point I need it.

Stay tuned all week as I share more of my brilliant Road Trip Tips {including 10 Road Trip Survival Tips}

Do you have any road trip advice?  I'd love to hear it!

Road Tripping {a save your sanity series} Part Three

If you asked any parent to name the things that drive them crazy about traveling with kids, I'll bet some rendition of these three sentences, spoken in a desperate, nearing death whine, would make the list:

Are we there yet?

How much further?

I'm starving to death - what can I eat?

I can't do much about the first two questions except to be sure to pack enough entertainment options to speed up the clock - but as for the poor starving children who are wasting away to nothing in the backseat...I've got a plan for that.


I found perfect snack containers at the Dollar Store.  They came in sets of three and stack together to form a neat little tower of goodies that fits into a cup holder.  I bought one for each child.


Before we leave, they will each choose three snacks and fill their containers {of which one snack must be a fruit or vegetable}.  At every stop they will have the opportunity to refill if they choose.  The containers aren't so big that they're going to overeat and by putting them in charge of their own choices I'm hoping to have three satisfied passengers who won't get bored by being offered the same boring snack over and over again.

What kind of food makes a good road trip snack?  

I am stocking up on all kinds of low-mess options:

• Crackers
• Goldfish
• Cookies
• Nuts
• Trail Mix
• Dry Cereal
• Popcorn
• Pretzels
• Cheese
• Baby Carrots
• Grapes
• Blueberries
• Cherry Tomatoes
• Cherries
• Clementines

And also a few things that don't fit in the container for a change-up in the snack options:

• Pepperettes
• Yogurt Tubes
• Apples
• Granola Bars

I'm also planning on throwing in a loaf of bread, and some peanut butter, and jam for a quick sandwich if the need arises.


Something to think about:
If you're crossing the border from Canada into the US like we are, you can't take fruits or vegetables with you.  We'll stop off a grocery store to grab our healthy options once we've crossed but the kids will have their first fill up to eat before we get to the border.


Stay tuned all week as I share more of my brilliant Road Trip Tips {including How to Plan, and 10 Things That Make Everything Better On The Road}

There is a lot of paperwork to keep organized when you take off on a road trip - there are maps and hotel confirmations and addresses and insurance papers and passports {if you're crossing a border}. Plus there's the goodies you collect on the way: postcards and travel brochures and seashells and ticket stubs {if you're sentimental like I am}.

It's important to keep these things together so that when you need something, you know exactly where to look.

My binder consists of 6 things - all procured from my local dollar store.  In all, this cost me a whopping $12.00!  {Road Trip Binder, $12 - Peace of Mind, priceless!}

5. Zippered pouches - one for passports and travel documents, one for markers and pens, one for little trinkets collected along the way.  The pouches I found were large enough to hold a full 8.5/11" page but they were not designed for use in a binder.  Happily, my three-hole-punch made short work of that and they now fit nicely in the back.

6. Dry erase marker - for making notes on the sheet protectors or dividers {I've marked each day with the predicted forecast for where we'll be at that time so I'll be better informed when I'm packing}

I refused to exist in chaos.  While there is something wildly romantic and thrilling to the thought of 'flying by the seat of one's pants' I just can't get on board that train.  

Organization matters.  It's just that simple.

As I prepare things for our approaching road trip I realize we are at a bit of a disadvantage to those road-trip veteran families with fancy minivans.  We are traveling some 3,594 kilometers in a five-seater station wagon with five people.  That means no elbow room, no breathing space, no turning sideways with your feet up on the seat and getting lost in The Maze Runner.  

And that means some serious organization is in order.

With long stretches ahead in a cramped backseat we have to be creative in coming up with activities to keep hands and minds busy.  And with activities - no matter how creative we can be {and no, you can't just tell your children to spend six straight hours using their imaginations} - there will be bits and pieces that need to be kept in an orderly fashion.

I floated about the internet looking for good ideas.  Smart Pinterest mom's were using Dollar Store shoe organizers hung on the back of seats to stash toys and games - of course, I was unable to find such a shoe organizer at our local store.

So I decided to make my own.

If you have children, chances are - somewhere in your house - there's a pile of too small, too worn, too torn jeans just begging to be turned into something useful.

I began with the largest rejected pair.  {These were my favourite jeans a few years back and they're so worn out that they feel like felt in some places - and though I was loathe to cut them up they were way past their prime and I'm happy to see them given new life.}

I cut along the waist at the front and down the sides at the outer legs ending up with what looked like backwards chaps.  By leaving the waist seam intact you have a way to hang it on the back of the car seat - simply by doing up the button and looping it over the headrest! 

I cut off the excess length in the leg and then folded and pinned the crotch area so that it lay smooth.

Taking another pair of old jeans, I lay one leg across the bottom to measure the length I needed to make a big pocket.

I cut the leg off, leaving almost two inches for the seam.

{the legs of my original pair of jeans almost reach to the bottom seam of the second pair}

I cut along the seam of the pant leg and then created a 'pouch' - putting one side underneath my original jeans and the other over top.

After turning the seams under and being sure everything was lined up, I sewed along the sides and bottom.  At the top of the large pocket I only sewed the back to the original jeans in order to leave the opening at the front.

Notice my especially awful stitching on the left side??? I have a very old sewing machine and there was no way it could handle going through all this denim so yes, I sewed this whole project by hand!

I cut pockets off another old pair of jeans and I grabbed a pencil case that wasn't being used and sewed those on the front of the big pocket - being careful not to stitch through to the back.  Happily, one of the pockets covered my terrible stitching!

The large pocket was very 'gapey' so I put a little stitch in the top middle to keep it a little more closed - it still leaves lots of room for novels, story books, and games on either side.

Stay tuned all week as I share more of my brilliant Road Trip Tips {including Making a Road Trip Binder, What to Pack, and my Smart Momma Snack Plan}

Do you have any road trip advice? I'd love to hear it!

Linking up here &

Using only items from your local dollar store you can create a beautifully organized binder to hold all your travel documents - from passports to maps to hotel booking confirmations.  Sure, you've probably got access to all of that on your iPhone but there's a huge comfort knowing it's all together, neatly contained in one pretty place.

 

Part Three: Smart Momma's Snack Plan

Create a tri-level snack solution with stacking containers.  Put children in charge of their own snacks and put an end the endless whine of "I'm starving!"  Also including a full list of low-mess options that will satisfy tummies and minimize complaining.

 

 

Part Four: How To Plan {and prepare for} A Road Trip

Use this four step plan for planning - PLUS a list of all the things you need to do before you leave.

Part Five: Road Trip Survival Tips {10 things that make everything better}

And some after-thoughts & tales...


Looking for more traveling advice? Check out The Sober Girl's Guide To Las Vegas!