I had anxiety the moment the invitation was extended because it's hard to be the odd man out.  It's hard to love yourself when you're exactly the opposite of all the rest of them.  And the last thing I want is for them to pity me because I'm really quite happy in this skin and wrapped up in these values that make me oh so boring in the light of their choices.  But I survived and I only did it for him because it meant something to him for me to spend a weekend with these friends from that part of his life that I really have nothing to do with.  And they're lovely people.  We're just different.

These are my truths:

1. Never before have I ever missed my best friend more.

2. Hotel packages are ridiculous scams riddled with coupons and extras that you'll never even use and you still get stuck in the murder room without a view, tucked around a dark corner at the end of the hall by the stairwell for the quick removal of bodies (thank you C.S.I).

3. I really must invest in a little black dress - they all wore fancy black on our 'big night out', and there I was, the innocent little country girl in my little pink dress.  (One of these things is not like the other....)

4. I don't care if I ever own a pair of high heels.

5. Casinos make me feel heavy with sadness.

6. The Keg is worth every single penny - once a year.

7. Getting carded at a nightclub makes me feel precious.

8. Being in a nightclub makes me want to throw up and disappear and curl up under a quilt and die and NO, I didn't give a rat's patootie that Vanilla Ice was behind the bar serving free shots - I just wanted to get the **** out of there!

9. I refuse to be anything other that who I am.

10. The very best part of the whole weekend was the end - after we'd said goodbye to everyone - and he and I walked together in the chilly air, holding hands and Starbucks, along the Falls, among the tourists and their cameras and their babies sleeping in strollers and he said, "Do you think our tree's still here?" And we went to find it.  And it was.  Right there where we'd left it.  That was my favorite.