I have stared at that mantra all month long and I still feel exhausted to the end of myself. Generally I'm quite good at carving out space to feed my soul what it needs to carry on. I cherish those quiet moments at the end of the day when the children are sleeping and the moon is winking and I can rest my weary feet and lose myself in a mindless program or a brilliant book. I long for stillness in chaos and silence in mayhem and clear skies in stormy weather.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. My life is rich with living. But in the busyness I have lost those things that make me who I am. I NEED the stillness to remember what I need to be the person I want to be. 

I barely managed 1000 new words on my manuscript throughout June. I feel stagnant. I feel algae collecting in my corners and that's depressing.

I haven't created with my hands in...goodness...I don't know how long. This makes me sad.

I haven't had a second to sit at the piano or pick up my guitar or pack a picnic and sit by the water. 

June was a month of doing for others.

Perhaps I can claim a little more of July for myself...?

When I decided to run my June Giveaway, my mission was to inspire others - you - to never forget how important it is to carve out space for yourself. We are all busy. We all need room to breathe. I may have failed at my own challenge but it was thrilling to check each day and see the simple ways others were claiming space. It was truly inspiring and all I can do is holler a big fat thank you to each and every one of you who participated - because this means that even in my own failure I have succeeded!

I am blessed to have a tribe of SelfBinding Retrospect supporters. You each mean so much to me - that you would set aside time in your day to read my words - that's so amazing!  {In fact, one of you shared that your Stolen Moment was coming here to read this blog! Gah! Talk about making my day!!!} And so, my other motivation for running a giveaway was to say thank you to all of you true supporters - perhaps you don't comment or share, perhaps you just quietly read - but whether you're a loud advocate or a silent cheerleader, my statistic counter tells me you've been here and WOW! that motivates and inspires me.  SO, I wanted to offer a small token of thanks. I wish I could give each of you a gift but frankly, I'm a writer - I can't afford it! 

What I wasn't prepared for were the Giveaway Trolls. These selfish little gremlins cast out their nets, seeking out any and all things they might enter with no thought to who or what the giveaway is for. I watched them there - chewing away at the corners of this kind little gesture I was trying to make AND THEY MADE ME ANGRY! Who do they think they are? And what kind of life are they living if all they do is troll the internet looking for free stuff?

And then the little angel on my shoulder said, "Perhaps this is what feeds their souls. Perhaps they are sad and lonely and winning a pretty little Stolen Moments gift pack would be the exact motivation they need to pick themselves up and do good things."

So then I stuffed some chocolate in her mouth {angels LOVE sweets!} and told her to hush and "Once a troll, always a troll!" and she nodded thoughtfully as a little dribble of chocolate leaked down her chin and she ruffled her feathers and gave me a wink as if to say, 'yes, yes, you know best!'

And so, on July 1 when I logged into the giveaway program and told it to pick a random winner and it brought up an ugly, green, scaly troll, I said NO WAY, clicked 'disqualify' and told it to pick someone else. 

Perhaps that's dishonest. Perhaps that's breaking all the rules of the Giveaway Commandments.

But I don't care.

This giveaway was for you.

And you are not a troll.

You are pretty and funny and kind and gracious and every other nice thing I could say about someone.

You don't smell like a swamp.

When I saw the name of the REAL, DESERVING WINNER I had to giggle.

Heidi E.

My sister.

And perhaps it's not fair that my own sister would win.

Or perhaps it is.

Because has anyone else been more supportive of this blogging adventure or my writing pursuits? Who else will text me at 11:00 pm to tell me I wrote 'your' instead of 'you're' {and you thought I was just a natural grammar genius!?!?} Who else would go sit at a different table in the coffee shop because I 'really really just need to focus on writing right now'? Who else always clicks 'Like' as a gesture of encouragement or participates in Thrift Blitz episodes or sends virtual high-fives when she enjoys what I share?

Yes, she is my sister but she's also my friend and a friend of this blog and she deserves any minutia of a stolen moment she can find.

The entry that won her the pretty prize?

If you knew her - if you knew the whirling dervishes that keep her life in constant {adorable} chaos - you would know that this stolen moment, as ridiculous and silly as it is, is deserved and precious.

This week we have Saturdays chili cook out/barn party to clean up after, six baseball games, a nine-year-old's birthday, and a family reunion - but for now I'm going to hit publish on this post, take my book and a cup of tea and go sit in the hammock until Heidi texts me with a spelling mistake.

I have eight days of work left before three glorious weeks of vacation. I am holding my breath for that beautiful moment when I'll finally be able to breathe!